Forgive Me Father

Forgive me father for I have sinned!

I have wished harm upon many people!

I have hoped hell would ascend on so many souls.

I have dreamed of demons torturing the souls of every man who has ever raped a woman, stole her future and her hopes.

I have wished burning fires melting every inch of flesh off of every priest who ever sexually abused a child in your house.

Forgive me father for I have fantasized about destroying the life of every man who ever laid a hand on a helpless woman.

Forgive me father for I wish harm more times than I can count on every man who ever took anything from a woman without asking permission or consent.

I have prayed for strength in my voice so I can fight louder than ever.

I have begged for patience in order to stand tall in my pain’s face and fight every urge not to act on my thoughts.

I go down of my knees and beg for forgiveness.

Forgive me for not wanting to forgive.

Forgive me for I will continue to wish harm upon others.

Forgive me for the spiraling lingering dreams, intertwined with hate, resentment, and disgust.

Forgive me for wanting to live in a world where monsters don’t creep in their children’s bedrooms at night and rob them from their innocence, safety and love.

Forgive me for not allowing my self to find an excuse for mothers who chose to take away the only shelter her baby would ever need, a home in her heart.

And forgive me for not feeling remorse and for not giving a damn about being forgiven

Forgive me father for I am not sorry!

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Dear Poetry

Dear Poetry,

Thank you.

I owe you my life…

You have showed me the only shining light among the piercing darkness of the night.

You have guided me through all my heartbreaks, false hopes, and unfortunate events.

You have healed me and continue to do so

As I see my own blood leak through your pages and manifest itself in the most beautiful of shapes; you humble me.

I owe you my sanity,

If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been buried deep in my sorrows, unable to make sense of the voices in my head.

You quiet them all and give them a purpose for existing

Dear poetry, thank you for always fighting my demons, as they lust for my soul in the shadows, all while my deadly sins conspire against me.